Somewhere You Are...

Somewhere you are but I may never find you...

Midst the sea of nameless faces, I search for that familiar face which haunts my dreams and reveries...a face that's etched within my mind...a face that would not leave my heart...I would gaze deeply in a stranger's eyes...hoping that I would find within the reflection of my soul...and as each intimate stranger touch my life I pray that it would be the last...

In my endless quest and aimless wanderings, somewhere you are...

But I may never find you...

Today I sat and watched the waves

And watched the birds that flew

Today I sat and thought of life

And thought of life with you

Today I sat and thought of love

And thought of love for you

Today I sat and looked about

And looked about for you

Today I walked and walked about

I walked in search of you

Today I walked in search of love

In search of a dream come true

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I'm Scared to Lose You...

funny how it frightens me to lose you...funny how the thought terrifies me...ridiculous and absurd, absolutely insane...for how can i ever lose you when i don't have you...

i have always watched you through someone else's eyes...i studied every gesture you did...i followed every move you made...i gazed at you for hours and hours on end...

i have always touched you with someone else's hands...i gently ran my fingers through your hair...caressed your face as i drew you near...felt your warmth against my skin...

i have always heard you through someone else's ears...i listened to every word you said...i hang on to every breath, to every sigh, to every sound you made...

i have always loved you through someone else's kiss...i tasted how it was to be your bliss...

but you will never know that it was me...you will never love me the way i do...funny how it scares me to lose you...when i don't even have you... 

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A Dream...

...all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream...

all but a dream!...should i be happy then?...that all the confusions in my mind are nothing but a dream...that all i have to do is wake up and dream another dream...take another shot at a brand new game...force myself to weave new thoughts and fantasies...conceive new lies and schemes...build new castles in the sky...fly high...until it's time to move on to dream another dream...

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My Miracle Find...

my heart lets out a silent scream...trying to reach you...it's you and me in my mind lately...wish i don't have to think about it, any more than i have to...it's out of my control, though...you invade my thoughts at my worst times...flashes of things, things we talked about...i don't cry about it, far from it...i don't lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and ask it why...i don't ask questions...well, not anymore...but i think about it...i think about you...

i think of those times i shared my thoughts with you...with you who actually know what i mean...who read my mind and finish my phrases before i even have the chance to blurt them out...you don't find the things i say intriguing or strange...you feel them as i do...and most of all, more than anything, you understand and accept me the way i am...

in your most strange way, you taught me not to waste life...that no matter how bad things get, it isn't worth it...you made me see that there's still beauty left in places...that i just have to turn my head another angle to see it...sometimes, it's shattered like broken glass, but you showed me how to arrange it like a puzzle for it to make sense...for the picture to become clear...

even if i never hear your voice when i talk to you as i sit alone in my room, i still feel your lingering presence...you're always there in the deep recesses of my mind...and when the world is fast asleep, i am never alone...for you are always with me, my miracle find...always...

When I feel like the world's gone mad

And I need you so bad

But I don't know where you are

I cry these tears

On our own we've been so far

We've sworn at the moon

And we've counted a million stars

My love's still true

Friends have come and gone

Some have left me alone

But I've stared at these walls before

And they've made me blue

All along in my heart I've known

There's one thing in my life

That still rings true

I can count on you

Count on you to be there

No questions in the air

No asking why or where

No looking back

Count on you every time

To ease my worried mind

You'll forever be important to me

My miracle find

If I had to choose one place

To spend the rest of my days

Anywhere will do

Long as it's close to you

Now oh now

We've travelled so far

Yet I'm right back where you are

Just me and you

Now and forever more

As the years go by

I'm beginning to see that I

Can count on you

~ Count on You by Tommy Shaw ~

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Live Well...

In life, there are two choices: to move forward or to stagnate. If you want to move forward, you have to turn your back from the past and face your present and future with your eyes wide open. You do not leave your other foot stuck in the past. If you do you are immobilized and your failures will hold you back. You are left to cope with “what ifs”, “should haves” and a pile of regrets. Nothing changes and when you feel this way, you start to believe that nothing will change.

If you sincerely want to change, you drop the anger, the pain, the disappointments and the sad experiences behind you. It is hard to leave the past. It is difficult to forgive and forget the people who may have hurt you, but you have to do for your own peace of mind. If you truly want to be free, you mentally close the door of the past firmly behind you and open another door to freedom.

When you leave your past behind, you don’t carry over into your present life a mental chart of the things or actions other people did to you. You do not spend three hours a day wringing your hands and trying to understand why unfortunate incident happened. You do not moan over the unfair judgment passed to you. What you do, if you want to get positively even, is to make your life so successful that your enemies will wonder how you recovered so fast! As one writer says, "Living well is the best revenge."

Our life is determined by the choices we make. We make or break our lives. Sometimes we come out unscathed. Usually, we don’t. Now, it’s up to mend our torn selves and put them back into pieces. Only when this is done can we say that we are free from the negative, misleading past.

“LIFE CAN ONLY BE UNDERSTOOD BACKWARD, BUT IT MUST BE LIVED FORWARD.”

~ i found this online a long time ago...it's very inspiring and worth reflecting on...i hope it will give you some nuggets of wisdom...~

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