I'm Scared to Lose You...

funny how it frightens me to lose you...funny how the thought terrifies me...ridiculous and absurd, absolutely insane...for how can i ever lose you when i don't have you...

i have always watched you through someone else's eyes...i studied every gesture you did...i followed every move you made...i gazed at you for hours and hours on end...

i have always touched you with someone else's hands...i gently ran my fingers through your hair...caressed your face as i drew you near...felt your warmth against my skin...

i have always heard you through someone else's ears...i listened to every word you said...i hang on to every breath, to every sigh, to every sound you made...

i have always loved you through someone else's kiss...i tasted how it was to be your bliss...

but you will never know that it was me...you will never love me the way i do...funny how it scares me to lose you...when i don't even have you... 

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Rescue Me...

i'm sitting here alone, staring into the darkness...i can hear the heartbeat hammering against my chest...i can feel the blood racing through my veins...they are as tangible as my pain...maybe if i cry myself long enough to sleep, i will get tired and blackout into a dreamless stupor...no more dreams...no more enticing dreams which turn into horrible nightmare...the most cruel nightmare which is "reality"...i tried to run away but it sought me out...it chased away all my wondrous fantasies...

i'm sitting here alone and helpless...crying out for you...

my world keeps on spinning...come and help me...

i'm drowning in my tears...save me...

i'm trapped in my pain...rescue me...

Rescue me from the mire

Whisper words of desire

Rescue me - darling rescue me

With your arms open wide

Want you here by my side

Come to me - darling rescue me

When this world's closing in

There's no need to pretend

Set me free - darling rescue me

I don't wanna let you go

So I'm standing in your way

I never needed anyone 

Like I'm needing you today

Do I have to say the words?

Do I have to tell the truth?

Do I have to shout it out?

Do I have to say a prayer?

Must I prove to you 

How good we are together?

Do I have to say the words?

Rescue me from despair

Tell me you will be there

Help me please - darling rescue me

Every dream that we share

Every cross that we bear

Can't you see - darling rescue me

~ Do I Have To Say The Words by Bryan Adams ~

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In Pain...

agonizing streaks of unbearable CRIMSON hell
ripping across the living canvas splashed with PAIN
nerve-wracking caresses in relentless rhythm
TORMENTING and dominating the helpless brain
lying motionless in a bed of nails
past the threshold of mute INDIFFERENCE
the disconsolate CRIES seeking to alleviate
the pangs of TORTURE screaming to be heard
running wild in a tireless game of hide and seek
elusive SLEEP would be a welcome treat
slipping in and out of CONSCIOUSNESS
FLIRTING outrageously with the notion of death

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